Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Score one for Decent Society... Rock Chalk Jayhawk


Could there have been a more fitting end to the college basketball season than what occurred last night? Joey Dorsey fouled out of the game on a cheap foul he had no business getting. Fatal coaching flaws by Calipari showing a lack of basic understanding about when to foul and when to play defense. And the free throws… ah yes… the free throws. One glorious brick after another. Basically, the Tigers’ season in a microcosm. They lost a 9-point lead quicker than anyone since the Knicks against the Pacers.

Finally free of the shackles of basketball, the Memphis players can get back to doing what they do best… getting arrested. They’ll have plenty of time to beat up ex-girlfriends, incite riots, solicit prostitutes, punch people and take off running, and all the other activities that make their motors hum. Reserve guard Andre Allen was so anxious to get back to real life, that he failed a drug test the week of the Final Four. Good to see that he was taking this opportunity so seriously.

As for this team’s legacy, it’s a shame that they set the single season wins record, considering half of their wins came against C-USA teams. Kansas finished with just one less win than the Memphis, despite having to actually navigate a legitimate conference. Instead of Houston and Rice, KU notched wins over Texas, Texas A&M, and Baylor. Instead of Tulsa, KU beat Oklahoma and Oklahoma State.

John Calipari’s only other appearance in the Final Four has been stricken from the record books thanks to a fantastic watch that Marcus Camby was given. Though Calipari successfully weaseled his way out of that, the UMass program is just now righting itself from his tenure there. In my opinion, this appearance has at least a decent chance of disappearing too.

After a long 5 months, the college basketball season has come to an end. That means it’s time for Calipari to start flirting with other jobs. Only this time, I think he bolts instead of bilking a bankrupt Memphis athletic department for money it doesn’t have, which has become his annual tradition.

For more information on attending the summer University of Memphis basketball camp, please call (800) CHOK-JOB.

1 comment:

Luke said...

“Finally free of the shackles of basketball, the Memphis players can get back to doing what they do best… getting arrested.”

Priceless.